I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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