He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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