I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
