My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
