I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
