I will die if light touches me.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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