5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
my being single is dangerous.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
