Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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