Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize