Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
