Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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