i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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