I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
