took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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