if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
