Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
