As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
