why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
