it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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