I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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