She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
