Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
