I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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