Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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