so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
