what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
