I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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