Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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