beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we're making bets on your personal life
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
