so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
