Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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