How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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