That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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