We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
