I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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