I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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