of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
