How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
