This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
