just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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