I like to think it a success when the cops are called
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
