I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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