i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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