waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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