Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
