Its about making memories worth repressing
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
