thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
