I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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