"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
