last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
