he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
