It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
