its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
