It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize