I'm drive I can fine osifer
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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