Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
As shirtless as possible
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Randomize
