Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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