butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
