to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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